Ashley's headstone is suppose to be here this week or next week. This makes me very anxious and nervous. I have waited a long time for this and now I feel a bit scared. It is hard to set still or focus on any one thing. I leave every weekend just to get out of the house and Kansas City. It is like there are too many memories here to deal with. I am burying myself in work and weekends away. I enjoy it but seem to always be tired. I notice that I am very distracted and packing is not going so well. I may end up with all tops and no bottoms if I'm not careful. I just see something I like and throw it in the suitcase. I will probably pull it all together in the morning.
I really enjoy looking at pictures of Ashley now. I have healed enough that I can look at them and remember the good times. I do still feel some pain.
I hope I sleep well tonight.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
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